a million ways to die in the west mustache quotes

Albert: You know, there are a million ways to die in the west, Clinch. There's, uh, famine, disease, gunfights And, uh, wild animals. All rights reserved. On the Granger Movie Gauge of 1 to 10, "A Million Ways to Die in the West" is a moronic 2. Our old schoolmarm got her throat slit by a fast moving tumbleweed. I never see him. If You've Only Got a Moustache. As a very loose rendition of historical fiction, it requires an ability to enjoy the suspension of belief in order to appreciate the humor, as well as an ability to look past the few offensive remarks to that are both poignant stabs at the time period as well as timely interpretations of . A 2021 study estimated more than a third of U.S. heat deaths each year can be attributed to human-caused global warming. Old Stump Bluegrass. 1882. 1:31. Albert: She moved to town a couple of years ago to take over the schoolmarm job. It's 1882 in Arizona, the heartland of the American West. Copyright 2023 Albert, in turn, has to decide when he will become a real man in doing what he needs for what, or who, he truly wants in life. Anna: Especially a smoking hot girl. Review: What Does Seth MacFarlane's 'A Million Ways to Die in the West 27 Songs, 1 hour, 2 minutes Then the mysterious Anna rides into town and captures Albert's interest and heart, but with her deadly . Opens Friday at major . There is an unrated, Extended Cut available, approximately 20 minutes longer. By continuing, you agree to the Privacy Policy and [Albert notices a glow from inside a building and peeks inside], [It is Doc Brown from "Back to the Future" working on the DeLorean, which is under a tarp; Doc notices Albert and covers up the car]. You can't blame Seth MacFarlane, that one-man comedy . Directed by Seth MacFarlane. As a very loose rendition of historical fiction, it requires an ability to enjoy the suspension of belief in order to appreciate the humor, as well as an ability to look past the few offensive remarks to that are both poignant stabs at the time period as well as timely interpretations of . Edward: Hey, dude, you really shouldn't drink and horse. "There it is!" "Dear God, look at it!" "It's beautiful!". All Rights Reserved. McNeely bases his playful and robust score on classic silver screen-era Westerns, offering up a pastiche that's both reverent and self-aware, while the theme song, which is performed by Alan Jackson, and "If You've Only Got a Mustache," the latter of which is performed by Grammy-nominated American tenor Amick Byram, are as goofy as they are . Anna: Oh God, that was never gonna work out anyway. Do you know what kind of hours he has to work? Overly crude jokes and gross-out humor drag comedy down. There is a post-credits sequence involving the gunman at the fair from the final scene. Albert: [Before drinking from the bowl with the indian tribe] "Mila Kunis" - subtitled as "Fine". The one where EW follows up with the cast. and the Vulgar -- yes, but just not funny. And then, for a good reason, Albert gets dumped by his charming girlfriend, Louise, only to fall head over heels in love with the intriguingly mysterious, horse-riding and pistol-packing stranger, Anna. As US heat waves worsen and intensify, older people become increasingly 11. Like. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Stream songs including "A Million Ways To Die", "Main Title" and more. But when she leaves him for the more successful and handsome owner of a moustachery store, Albert returns to his lonely daily life of trying to avoid death. Stream songs including "A Million Ways To Die", "Main Title" and more. On the other hand, Albert also has to find the gunslinging skill in order to battle Louise's new boyfriend - the cocky and wealthy Foy (Neil Patrick Harris) - in a shootout in front of the entire town. May 29, 2014. George Stark: [Farts] That came out of my penis! Narrator: Some people are born into the wrong time and place. After all, you can never go wrong combining westerns and music . The only time it came out of nowhere was when Charlize said, "Hey, Ewan McGregor is doing a movie up the street!" Seth MacFarlane writes, directs and stars in this Western about a sheep farmer who falls in love with an outlaw's wife. 1882. "A Million Ways to Die in the West" lacks the inspired lunacy of Mel Brooks' timeless Western, and won't last the ages as a seminal swipe at the genre, but at least MacFarlane gives the . Anna vows to help Albert with many issues in his life, most specifically in getting Louise back largely by pretending to be his girlfriend to make Louise jealous, and learning how to shoot in what ends up being a challenge to a shoot-out with Foy for Louise's hand. Unexpectedly, Anna and Albert have a genuine connection--and as our unassuming hero learns the fundamentals of survival in the inhospitable wild west--an ironic, yet grave challenge against an unforeseen and mighty adversary demands that he puts to the test his newly found abilities. The film was number three at the box office during its opening weekend and grossed over $87 million worldwide against a budget of $40 million. Old Stump Bluegrass . All you need is a little bit of the venom introduced into your bloodstream and you're pretty much screwed. Inspiration for the Work: The film originated as an inside joke between Seth MacFarlane and co-writers Alec Sulkin and Wesley Wild while they were watching Hang 'Em High. As a cowardly farmer begins to fall for the mysterious new woman in town, he must put his newly found courage to the test when her husband, a notorious gun-slinger, announces his arrival. But, just how many ways to die are there in the west? I'm the guy in the crowd making fun of the hero's shirt; that's who I am. Unexpectedly, Anna and Albert have a genuine connection--and as our unassuming hero learns the fundamentals of survival in the inhospitable wild west--an ironic, yet grave challenge against an unforeseen and mighty adversary demands that he puts to the test his newly found abilities. What Shows Have Been Renewed or Canceled. Comedy, Romance, Western. All rights reserved. Queen Charlotte: A Bridgerton Story: Season 1, Link to Marvel Movies Ranked Worst to Best by Tomatometer, Link to Asian-American Pacific Islander Heritage, Link to RT25: Celebrating 25 Years of Rotten Tomatoes. A Million Ways to Die in the West is a 2014 American western comedy film directed by Seth MacFarlane, who wrote the screenplay with Alec Sulkin and Wellesley Wild. A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014) - Plot Summary - IMDb Casting was done between December 2012 and March 2013. Then the mysterious Anna rides into town and captures Albert's interest and heart, but with her deadly husband in town, Albert is going to have to become the western gun-slinging hero he never was. When a sheep herder who hates the West saves a young lady . Making a splash: A deep dive into the live-action Little Mermaid with a new generation's Ariel. She is now with a dapper, successful, extroverted store owner, Foy, a fact Foy keeps reminding him of. Albert: I'm not the hero. WARNING: The rest of this article contains minor spoilers for A Million Ways To Die In The West.If you haven't seen the film, read on at your own risk! Anna vows to help Albert with many issues in his life, most specifically in getting Louise back largely by pretending to be his girlfriend to make Louise jealous, and learning how to shoot in what ends up being a challenge to a shoot-out with Foy for Louise's hand. I went to your farm the other day, and I saw one in the back yard, three way up on the ridge, two in the pond and one on the roof. I suck at sheep. A Million Ways to Die in the West Quotes In Seth MacFarlanes A Million Ways to Die in the West, Neil Patrick Harris takes center stage for one of the films best sequences the highly choreographed and riotously funny Mustache Song., I do always feel like everything that I do should have some sort of musical component, MacFarlane told EW. And just a small amount of venom in an open wound is enough to kill a man if he's Albert: Did he hear all that smart stuff I did? Her "it's not you, it's me" reason rings false as she quickly starts up with mustachioed Foy, the wealthy owner of a mustache grooming products store, he who Albert knows he cannot compete in not being wealthy enough to be able to grow a groomed mustache. Making a splash: A deep dive into the live-action. Albert: You know, there are a million ways to die in the west, Clinch. When a mysterious and beautiful woman rides into town, she helps him find his courage and they begin to fall in love. . If you can get a song in there, its just a nice Hollywood tradition.. However, when the infamous West outlaw Clinch Leatherwood (Liam Neeson) arrives in town, Albert realizes that he has just intruded on Clinch and Anna's husband-and-wife relationship, and Clinch is hungry for retribution. presentation-ready copies of Toronto Star content for distribution Check out the interactive photo below for more details on the scene. Albert: It's just another way God mysteriously shows that He loves us. The real peculiarity of A Million Ways To Die in The West and what a waste of a great titleis that it's got no good reason to be a Western in the first place, tongue-in-cheek or not. 10. Albert is befriended by Anna, along with her "brother" Lewis who are new to Old Stump, and she who is self-admittedly "smokin' hot". She neglects to tell him that shes married to the outlaw Clinch Leatherwood (Liam Neeson), an infamous and jealous gunslinger who regularly contributes to that million-ways body count. "A Million Ways to Die in the West Quotes." We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. A passive, shy sheep farmer tries to avoid conflict, a trait which has kept him alive but has now resulted in his girlfriend leaving him. It's got to be bad for their brains, right? Not only did he adapt a song from the period, but he also hired a veteran choreographer and an army of Broadway dancers for the sequence. When she sees me, she'll be intimidated as f***. And, uh, wild animals. To order copies of Marvel Movies Ranked Worst to Best by Tomatometer, Jurassic Park Movies Ranked By Tomatometer, RT25: Celebrating 25 Years of Rotten Tomatoes, Weekend Box Office Results: Super Mario Joins the Billion-Dollar Club. When a mysterious and beautiful woman rides into town, she helps him find his courage and they begin to fall in love. A Million Ways to Die in the West: Directed by Seth MacFarlane. Although she states otherwise, the shoot-out is arguably the last straw for Louise, Albert's vain girlfriend, who breaks up with him. Opens Friday at major theatres 14A. The film received mixed reviews from critics, with criticism directed toward the film's length and MacFarlane's performance. Albert is attracted to her, initially, by her beauty, but realizes she's the courage and confidence he has always hungered for. I'm not going to the stupid fair. At least stay through the weekend. As a cowardly farmer begins to fall for the mysterious new woman in town, he must put his newly found courage to the test when her husband, a notorious gun-slinger, announces his arrival. R, 1 hr 55 min. PREVIEW. MacFarlane certainly seems to embrace this contradiction. Updated at 22nd July 2015 by rearranging the order of some entries: What is the Japanese language plot outline for A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)? Comedy 2014 1 hr 55 min. A Million Ways to Die in the West Review - IGN MacFARLANE: It always depends on the gag, more than the person. Anna: [to Louise] How can you be so blind with eyes that big?! One Cameo In A Million Ways To Die In The West Was Even A Surprise To 2014 Universal Studios. Louise: You're not even a good sheep farmer, Albert. Seth MacFarlane, Seth MacFarlane's A Million Ways to Die in the West: A Novel. Everything out here that's not you wants to kill you, angry drunk people, hungry animals, outlaws, the doctor." Albert gives a breakdown of just a few of the million ways to die in the West. Albert: [At target practice] I fired a gun at the shooting gallery. A Million Ways to Die in the West Quotes - Goodreads , and to receive email from Rotten Tomatoes. It was released on DVD and Blu-ray on October 7, 2014, and earned more than $15 million in home media sales. The one thing a sheep farmer has to do is keep all of the sheep in one place, all right? A Million Ways to Die in the West. Ditto the overdone sideshow of Sarah Silvermans energetic town prostitute bonding with Giovanni Ribisis bible-thumping virginal shoemaker. I read an article in the paper. Albert: No, no, no, no! Yet hes afraid to stray from knuckle-dragging comedy, being obsessed with jokes about farts, diarrhea and genitals that splat more often than they zing. With Seth MacFarlane, Charlize Theron, Amanda Seyfried, Liam Neeson. A Million Ways to Die in the West - Rotten Tomatoes Albert: Yeah, I saw that. Albert: Hey, sorry I killed your husband. the Terms and Policies, and to receive email from Rotten Tomatoes. A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - Sh**ty Showdown, A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - If You've Only Got a Moustache, A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - You Really Do Have a Death Wish. Albert: Yeah. CookiePolicy MacFarlane deserve some credit for allowing Theron to upstage him, sometimes just with a knowing look. Albert recklessly challenges Foy to a gunfight a week hence, even though the hapless sheep minder literally cant shoot to save his life. The Best Quotes From 'A Million Ways to Die in the West' - Ranker Anna: There is something about connecting over mutual hatred that is just so much deeper than mutual love. - Original Motion Picture Soundtrack. Ruth: Oh yeah, it's this, its like from here to here. 1 May 2023. A Million Ways to Die in the West is a 2014 American Western black comedy film directed by Seth MacFarlane and written by MacFarlane, Alec Sulkin and Wellesley Wild.The film features an ensemble cast including MacFarlane, Charlize Theron, Amanda Seyfried, Neil Patrick Harris, Giovanni Ribisi, Sarah Silverman, and Liam Neeson.The film follows a cowardly frontiersman who gains courage with the . Copyright 2023 Meredith Corporation. Star Newspapers Limited and/or its licensors. Seth MacFarlane, Amanda Seyfried, Charlize Theron. If you do not yet have a Torstar account, you can create one now (it is free), Copyright owned or licensed by Toronto Star Newspapers Limited. To order The film was released on May 30, 2014, in the United States, and distributed worldwide by Universal Pictures. All rights reserved. I suck at dancing. At a recent press conference held in Los . Seth MacFarlane directs, produces, co-writes and plays the role of the cowardly sheep farmer Albert in A Million Ways to Die in the West. Anna: Oh, thank God, 'cause I was like ah [mimics gun to her head] , kill me. One father scolded his young son, "Take your hat off! Is it possible to overthink moronic humour? She has a problem with retardation, but she's full of love. Chinese Date: How should I know? 33%. But, just how many ways to die are there in the west? He is also not adept at shooting guns, which makes the death by shoot-outs even more likely, and is the reason why he cowers out of a shoot-out with someone to whom he owes money. What is the Japanese language plot outline for A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)? Republication or distribution of this content is . As a fan of Seth MacFarlane's series Family Guy and his feature film debut Ted, it's a shame to report that if you've seen the trailers for his new western comedy A . [stammers] It's a weather experiment. Internet Service Terms MacFarlane also relied on veteran singer and two-time Grammy nominee Amick Byram to do the vocals. Then Stark must put his newfound bravery to the test when Anna's outlaw husband arrives with plans to plant him in an unmarked grave. Constantly terrified, the meek and lily-livered sheep farmer, Albert Stark, mainly struggles to stay out of trouble in dusty and dangerous 1880s Arizona, utterly convinced that everything out there can and will kill him. A Million Ways to Die in the West | Fandango 10 Westerns Referenced In A Million Ways To Die In The West The film features an ensemble cast including MacFarlane, Charlize Theron, Amanda Seyfried, Neil Patrick Harris, Giovanni Ribisi, Sarah Silverman and Liam Neeson. A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - That's a Dollar Bill! 116 minutes. Albert: My worst fear is to OD on a recreational drug. But when her husband, a notorious outlaw, arrives seeking revenge, the farmer must put . His running gag about how people never smile in old-fashioned photographs might have seemed hilarious on paper but it certainly isnt on the screen. Ruth: But this is just the outside, there's these folds. Seth MacFarlane gets wild in new Western 'Million Ways to Die' Albert: [Being offered a pot cookie by Anna] The last time somebody gave me one of these, I became convinced that prairie dogs could read my mind. Privacy Policy If You've Only Got a Moustache. All A Million Ways to Die in the West Videos A Million Ways to Die in the West: Trailer 1 2:30 Added: January 19, 2017 A Million Ways to Die in the West: Official Clip - Ways to Die 2:24 Added . Seth MacFarlane and Charlize Theron A MILLION WAYS TO DIE IN THE WEST Updated at 22nd July 2015 by rearranging the order of some entries: What is the Japanese language plot outline for A Million Ways to Die in the West (2014)? Starring: Seth MacFarlane,Charlize Theron,Liam Neeson. Foy: My dear, they're practically Chinese! Albert: Oh. He knows how to make people laugh, as demonstrated in his Family Guy TV series, his movie smash Ted and in sporadic moments of his gig hosting the Oscars last year.
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