Could it be that I do is the longest sentence?52.May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.53.Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.54.If you cant say something nice about a person, go ahead.55.People are wonderful one at a time. 60 really looks great on you! Some are funny, some are insightful, but they're all packed with his typical brutal honesty. On your birthday, I promise to keep all your secrets, to flood you with gifts and never to miss a chance to make you smile. As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money.33.If it requires a uniform, its a worthless endeavor.34.Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. The Kennedy Center posthumously awarded this year's Mark Twain Prize for American Humor to George Carlin. On your birthday, I just want to remind you that you are the best person I have ever met in my whole life. Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar., I am is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Famous Quotes by George Carlin about Politics. The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done. William Butler Yeats: "From our birthday, until we die, / Is but the winking of an eye." Plato: "Old age: A great sense of calm and freedom. May you have a delicious and partylicious birthday! Happy 60th Birthday! I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. 31. The challenge is to find it. Do you get on before you get on? I don't give a shit! "Carlin on Campus". Tell them what you've painted is wet, they have to touch it to believe. If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten. I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences.40.Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.41.Religion is like a pair of shoes: Find one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes.42.I have as much authority as the Pope. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. When you quit school at an early age, I think you have a lifelong need to show the world - and maybe yourself - that you're really smart after all. 125 George Carlin Quotes. There's only the immediate future and the recent past. His special, Seven Dirty Words became the central subject for a decision by the US Supreme Court to allow the government to censor indecent material from airing on public mediums. If youre born in America you get a front row seat.23.Thats why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.24.I do this real moron thing, and its called thinking. When the passions have relaxed their hold, you may have escaped, not from one master but from many." Pope John XXIII: "Men are like wine. Every table had an argument going. Show more. Good. . A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. Oh especially three. Top 10 George Carlin Quotes. May your 60th Birthday be as magnificent as you are. I'm talking about the real owners now the real owners. Electricity is really just organized lightning. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. It is time to party! Best of Carlin On Weather. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? Our goal is to help you by delivering amazing quotes to bring inspiration, personal growth, love and happiness to your everyday life. Considered as one of the greatest stand-up comedians of all time, his distinctive and provocative style of speeches, aimed at ridiculing the vices of the American society, redefined the genre and influenced a great number of comics. 70 Wise Quotes From George Carlin George Carlin is a Grammy-winning American stand-up comedian, actor, and author. He was born May 12, 1937, in New York City into an Irish Catholic family, but he rejected the faith. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that. Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. cancer, the war on drugs. Related Topics. // Paul And Susan King Hawaii Net Worth, All Steel Equipment Inc Desk, Hunting Land For Lease In Adams County, Wisconsin, What Was The Effect Of Venezuela Declaring Independence From Spain, Articles G